By now you’ve heard the news: Brooks Koepka has followed in the spike marks of little bro Chase, joining LIV Golf for bags upon bags of money days after claiming he “hadn’t thought much about it.” It’s a tough blow for fans of aloof indifference and tour-pro cyberbullying, but as with all things in life—from a breakup to the loss of a beloved goldfish—the right song can help to ease the pain. Thankfully, golf’s resident piano man Sam Harrop delivered exactly on Tuesday with this hilarious, incisive Koepka/Oasis parody. Rain-dappled window pane to stare out of not included.
We’ve heard plenty of smash hits from Harrop over the years—his Tony Finau/REO Speedwagon power ballad, the Mickelson/Sheeran mash-up you didn’t know you needed—but this might be his best work yet. The “grow the game,” Andy Ogletree, and Kevin Na slow play bits are all great, but it’s the “cast a dark cloud in the sky” line, a reference to Koepka’s press conference tiff in Brookline last week that first raised red flags, that really sets the whole thing over the top. Most of Harrop’s previous sing-a-longs have been good, clean fun, but this one is clearly a dig and it’s all the better for it.
Best of all, however, is the comfort in the knowledge that Brooks will hear this and will hate it. The man was tuned into Bryson’s Twitch streams for christ’s sake. Nothing gets by him. No comment goes unlogged. Next to useGolfFACTS, Koepka is the closest thing golf has to Kevin Durant and it’s going to be glorious to watch how this mess plays out in his head, rent free and to the tune of “LIV(e) Forever.”